A Recurring Theme

The Sunday just a few days before Christmas I attended the funeral of a lady from my church who had been suffering from cancer for years. She was survived by a son who is about twenty one, and another who will graduate high school in May.
The next weekend, I was playing and singing at the funeral of Cole's great-grandmother. We had just spent Christmas together and she seemed fine, two days later we were rushing to the hospital to hold her hand as she drew her last breaths.
A few days later, at four o'clock on New Year's morning, a man from our church accidentally shot and killed his wife mistaking her for an intruder. Very few couple's love for each other is more evident than theirs was. The wide range of emotions, the questions...

Three weekends. Three funerals. By the time I got home from the most recent funeral on Saturday, I literally had no more nice black clothes in my closet and was completely emotionally drained.
It seems like over and over I post about the brevity of life, but over and over it is impressed on me.

Cole and I started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper today. I read it a couple of years ago, but the more I live, the more I realize I don't have forever. Life is so short. Who knows the number of years allotted to them? Who knows if they will have the next breath?
A few months ago I had a very morbid thought. I was sitting in the fellowship hall at our church looking out at the people when it occurred to me: In one hundred years, we will all be gone. I looked at Sam, I looked at Cole, I looked at my sister, I looked at my friends. All of us, in not to long a time compared to history, will die.
I look at the people that I love, the things that I do, everything that seems so important to me and realize that it will pass away.
When I think of these things I find myself identifying with Solomon in Ecclesiastics 9:
5 For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten. 6 Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.

There is a sense in which our legacy will hopefully live on, but there is another aspect that two hundred years from now, the world will be populated with completely new people. People who never knew me and who never knew you. "What's the point? We live, we work, we love, we die. Meaningless!"

But it doesn't end there. The last few verses of the book tell us to live our short, seemingly meaningless life to the fullest
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun--all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

Though after weeks like I've had recently I get frustrated with the very concept of existence, I know there is a point to life. I know there is a reason for existence.
"What is the chief end of man?" The Westminster Catechism asks.
The response sounds simple, but it's so true and so hard to keep focused on:
"To glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

With every breath, with every action, with every word. Glorify God.

Thanksmas 2007

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The main reason is because it is the one time a year that all of my family is together under one roof for a few days. It always amazes me how I can only see my cousins once a year, yet each time we see each other, we pick up right back up where we left off. Another reason is because it is one holiday that is relatively uncomercialized. I like that I can walk through a store without being bombarded with advertisements telling me that if I REALLY loved someone, I'd buy them a particular item.

This Thanksgiving I was particularly grateful to have all of my family together as my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago. They say when someone in your family has cancer, it changes your entire outlook on life. I think that may be true. I found myself looking around the house at my family and thinking "Life is short, a mere breath then it passes away. We won't all be together long, but I am so blessed that we are together today." Every Thanksgiving I post about how grateful I am for my family, but if it's worth saying once, it's worth saying over and over again! I'm fairly convinced that I have the most wonderful family ever. Praise God for families that are centered around Him!!

All of us!

Cole meets the family. He doesn't look too nervous...

In front of the Thanksmas tree :-)

When I've been married as long as my grandparents have, I want to still be this sweet. The love they have for one another is more evident with each passing year.

The Brevity of Life

This summer has been culture shock for me.
At the beginning of the summer, the first friend of mine around my age got married. This shocked me. We’re not old enough to get married! But yes, I suppose we are. As I entered into a courtship just a few weeks later, I realized anew just how time flies. How did we go from little girls playing dress up to attending each other’s weddings? Where did the time go?

Then today I found out news that stunned me. A childhood friend of mine died. She and I weren’t close friends when we were young, and completely lost touch as we grew older. But still. I knew her; I played with her not too many years ago. “We’re too young to die!” was my first thought. Death is for the old, for the feeble...not a 22 year old young woman. But no, we aren’t too young to die.

Life is but a breath. Fleeting.
In the past several years I have had a phrase that comes to mind over and over and over. Seize the moment. Seize the moment. Seize the moment. It is hard for me to seize the moment sometimes. I am so prone to let impatience try to rush me along, not allowing me to enjoy the season I am in because I am too busy worrying about and longing for the next one.
But then I look around, see how much life has changed so quickly, see how much people have changed and I cry out “Oh Lord, help me live today for you. Don’t let me waste this life you have given me!”

Time is such a precious gift, but so easy to waste. I love the quote “Do you love life? Then do not waste time, for time is what life is made of.” That is so true. The little decisions, the melancholy tasks that I perform day to day. That is my life. Not a moment of it should be wasted.
After considering this topic for quite some time, I came across and read Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper a year or two ago. It really helped define all of the things about life and time and living each day to it’s fullest for Christ and renewed my perspective of life in general. Anyone who hasn’t read it needs to!

There is a country song out by Kenny Chesney called Don’t Blink which I decided to post here. I found it quite thought provoking.

1st Verse
I turned on the evenin' news
Saw an old man being interviewed
Turnin' a hundred and two today
They asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his ol' pipe
Laughed and said, 'All I can say is'

Chorus
Don't blink
Just like that
You're six years old and you take a nap
And you wake up and you're twenty-five
And your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growin' like mine did
Turnin' into moms and dads
Next thing you know
Your better half of fifty years is there in bed
And you're prayin' God takes you instead
Trust me friend
A hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

2nd Verse
I was glued to my TV
When it looked like he looked at me
And said, 'Let's start puttin' first things first'
'Cause when your hourglass runs outta sand
You can't flip it over, start again
Take every breath God gives you, for what it's worth

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge
So I been tryin' to slow it down
I been tryin' to take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

(Repeat Chorus)

Tag
Naw, don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think

Eight Random Facts About Me

THE RULES! Each player lists 8 facts or habits about themselves; the rules of the game are to be posted first; at the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people.

1. I am glad that I went through the 80's completely oblivious.
2. Until the time I was 15, I wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or with make up and I swore I'd never, ever have long hair. At 19, I wear skirts almost exclusively, put on makeup within 10 minutes of waking up every morning and have my hair to my waist.
3. I believe in predestination but don't take the term "Calvinist" too seriously. Though for the sake of giving an explination of what I believe, I may use the term Calvinism, I really don't consider myself a Calvinist. I'm a Christian. I don't care what Calvin said...I care what the Bible says. I just happen to believe that they are very similar.
4. I hate roaches. HATE roaches. They make me shiver and scream.
5. I am friends with a lot of people, but don't open up to them very often. Because of this, most people, even my closest friends, don't know who I really am.
6. I'm courting a guy who is nine weeks younger than me and we have spent 80% of our official relationship on different continents.
7. I have gotten attached to clothes shopping. Especially sales. Half the fun of having new clothes is saying "Oh thank you, I'm glad you like it...it was $5 at the outlet."
8. I went out of the country for the first time this summer. I liked it very much, as I knew I would. It only reinforced my dream to travel the world. Maybe someday...

People I tag- Everyone who would do it has already been tagged...so whatever.

The Prayer of the Unknown Confederate Soldier

I asked God for strength that I might achieve,

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for help that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy,

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life,

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Happy 4th of July

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

Crucified with Christ

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20

This is, to me, one of the most incomprehensible passages of scripture I've read. To be crucified with Christ, dead to sin, alive to righteousness.
It a very humbling way to view your life. Dead, sacrificed completely to the will of God. It is humbling that when people see our lives, what they're seeing isn't us. Anything good...it's not us. I see more and more clearly every day just what I am apart from Christ: wretched, depraved and utterly hopeless. Because of His mercy and grace, He has seen fit to save me from myself. When you think of it that way, it really takes the boasting out of existence. When you see yourself as you truly are, and see God as he truly is, how can you even think about taking credit for anything good or holy in your life? Yes, we work toward righteousness; Yes, we strive to be more holy. But even our best efforts are in vain without His grace. He gives us the desire to be holy and righteous. That is phenomenal to me...not only does he ordain our sanctification, but He gives us the desire to strive towards it.

" But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Gal 6:14
Oh, let this be true of me!

Crucified with Christ is one of my very favorite songs. I think it is my favorite because of just how rich it is in scripture line after line, verse after verse.
I have posted it here:

Crucified with Christ
Phillips, Craig and Dean

VERSE 1:
As I look back on what I thought was living
I'm amazed at the price I choose to pay
And to think I ignored what really mattered
Cause I thought the sacrifice would be too great
But when I finally reached the point of giving in
I found the cross was calling even then
And even though it took dying to survive
I've never felt so much alive.


CHORUS:
For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live
Not I but Christ that lives within me
His Cross will never ask for more than I can give
For its not my strength but His
There's no greater sacrifice
For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live


VERSE 2:
As I hear the Savior call for daily dying
I will bow beneath the weight of Calvary
Let my hands surrender to His piercing purpose
That holds be to the cross but sets me free
I will glory in the power of the cross
The things I thought were gain I count as loss
And with His suffering I identify
And by His resurrection power I am alive


BRIDGE:

And I will offer all I have
So that His cross is not in vain
For I found to live is Christ
And to die is truly gain

A Calmer Faith

“A calmer faith...where we don’t revolt when His plan and ours conflict. Where we relax in the midst of an answerless season. Where we accept (and expect) deserts in our spiritual journey as surely as we do joy. Where we are not intimidated or persuaded by other people’s agendas but moved only by Him. Where we weep in repentance, sleep in peace, live in fullness and sing of victory.”
-Patsy Clairmont

Gratefulness

Two weekends ago we visited New Orleans. It was the first time for me to be back at my home church since right after Katrina, and I had very mixed emotions as I walked in.
After a wonderful worship service and a time of visiting with dear church family, it started to clear out in the church. Just like old times, we were the last ones to leave :-)
But before we left, I couldn’t help but revisit the place where years ago I felt the urgency of the call of Christ so clearly and so keenly that I felt no other choice than to kneel and repent of my sin. I walked in the classroom and looked around. The room looked almost exactly the same, these 11 ½ years later. The words from the song “This is Where I Met Jesus” echoed through my mind and tears filled my eyes as I knelt in the spot where He quickened my soul and redeemed me. Thoughts flooded my mind: Why did You choose to save me? Why did you look at my 6 year old self and convict me of my need for You? I don’t understand that kind of love. You spared me the regrets and pain of living my life without Your Spirit. You carried me through the valley of the shadow of death, teaching me that You are my Father in a more real sense than I can ever comprehend.
There was only one thing I could stammer: “Thank you, Lord. Thank you.”

Thank you seems to fall so short when trying to express the immense gratitude for the salvation He has given, but what more is there to say? So here I stand, I grateful recepient of His grace. Soli Deo Gloria!

A Valentines Day Post: For Everything There is a Season

At nineteen, this is the first Valentine's Day that I've actually considered myself to be single.
All the previous years, I just considered myself too young for a relationship.
But this year it sort of hit me. When it did, I was surprised to discover that this fact doesn't devistate me. And it's not because I don't want to get married. No, not that at all. It's because I'm scared to death to get married if it's not God's timing. I assume that since I'm not in a relationship, it must not be His timing yet. His timing might be tomorrow, I don't know. But rather than concerning me, it makes me feel secure and evokes me to breathe a prayer of thanksgiving that I know I can trust the timing of my Father.

During this season of singleness, I do not see it as a burden. I see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to seize this time I have to serve God wholeheartedly, for I know not how long I have left.
Someday soon, if the Lord wills it, I will enter a new season. A season of having the privilege to be a picture to the world of Christ and his Bride, the church. A season of serving and caring for my husband and family. But now, while I anticipate and prepare and long for that day, God is teaching me that His timing is perfect and that when I trust Him, I will never be disappointed.
In contemplating these things, a certain scripture came to mind and I was inspired to post it here.

Ecclesiastes 3 1-14

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him."

The Power of the Gospel

Our pastor is taking us through a year long in-depth study of 1 Corinthians. We started a few months ago, but one thing that keeps coming back to my mind again and again are Paul's words about preaching the gospel.

After one of his sermons on this subject, I e-mail'd my pastor asking for prayer as I knew I'd be having the opportunity to share the gospel with someone dear to me.
His response was this:
"Be bold with the gospel...our confidence is not in "persuasive words of wisdom" but in the power of the gospel itself."

The power is the gospel, not how fluffy, flowery and nice I can make it sound. The Word is clear about what will follow being a Christian: pain, tribulation and persecution. But it is also clear about something else: It's worth it. Infinitely worth it.

I wonder how different our evangelism would look if we were to stop making the cross of Christ void by trying to be clever in our witnessing? What if we instead preached the purity of the gospel in all of its power and glory? What if we said what Christ said "If you follow me you will endure persecution" to people who weren't yet saved? What if the church stopped trying to trick people into coming to becoming Christians by emotional highs and half truths and simply taught them the gospel? What if we began to see what privilege it is just to have the opportunity to worship our great God and were able to share that with others without apologizing that being a Christian isn't "fun" in the secular sense? What if we stopped trying to convince them that if they become a Christian they won't have to give up anything? What if we told them the truth: That they have to give up everything. Everything. Die daily, pick up their cross and follow Christ? What would happen if we then told them of the glory of the world to come, our hope?
I wonder.

The scripture that provoked these thoughts:

"For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would be made void.
For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
For it is written,
"I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE, AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE."
And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God."
1 Cor 1:18-19, 2:1-5

The bonnie lad and lassies. Merisha and I happened to be in our family tartin skirts when Cole came in with his family tartin kilt that he got for Christmas. Fun times...

The Christmas music group. After a bit of persuasion, Pastor Bart joined in our ensamble for Christmas carols. It was wonderful...it'd been waaaay too long since we'd played with a guitar :-)

Christmas dinner:
Possum...mmm!

Me and my mommy on Christmas

Yay for Christmas Pictures!

My favorite Christmas 2006 picture. The three of us under the Christmas tree :-)













Christmas Crew 2006. Us, the Walkers and Cole. Not family, but have become pretty close.

Isaiah 9 has been fulfilled!

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light. For those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned... For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and this government shall be on his shoulder. And his name shall be called: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
Isaiah 9:2,6,7

Hallelujah, Christ is born! What wonderous love that caused Christ to leave His throne in heaven to come as a humble babe in a manger, wrapping himself in humanity for this for a disctinct purpose: to satisfy the wrath, righteousness, justice and love of His Father. To be crushed for our iniquities, to save His people from their sins. Praise be to God for this incredible gift!

A Great Moral Teacher or Lord and God?

"One part of the claim [of Jesus to be God] tends to slip past us unnoticed because we have heard it so often that we no longer see what it amounts to. I mean the claim to forgive sins: any sins. Now unless the speaker is God, this is really so preposterous as to be comic. We can all understand how a man forgives offences against himself. You tread on my toes and I forgive you, you steal my money and I forgive you. But what should we make of a man, himself unrobbed and untrodden on, who announced that he forgave you for treading on other men's toes and stealing other men's money? Asinine fatuity is the kindest description we should give of his conduct. Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned, the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He really was the God whose laws are broken and whose love is wounded in ever sin. In the mouth of any speaker who is not God, these words would imply what I can only regard as silliness and conceit unrivalled by any other character in history.

Yet (and this is the strange, significant thing) even His enemies, when they read the Gospels, do not usually get the impression of silliness and conceit. Still less do unprejudiced readers. Christ says that He is 'humble and meek' and we believe Him; not noticing that, if He were merely a man, humility and meekness are the very last characteristics we could attribute to some of His sayings.

I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not have been a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would have been the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God."

C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity, Chapter 3

:-D

Today is a wonderful day. It all started with a long (for me!) bike ride of about 6 miles on the Natchez Trace with a new friend. In fact, I realized that this is the first "one-on-one" time I've had with any of my new acquaintances in Natchez since I moved here. I guess I mostly do stuff with groups and always with Merisha. Anyway, it made me feel energized and happy :-)
Soo, then I picked up my little charge and spent the morning babbling to him in baby-talk. For lunch, Merisha and I played for the Rotary Club (a meeting of lots of important and influential people) and they all LOVED the music. We even got a standing ovation, which surprised me to no end. After we were finished, we had lots of people ask for our business cards and even booked events to play this very week! Yay!
And tonight I'm eating dinner with another new friend and then will see some church people, which I always look forward to. Maybe we'll even play some music tonight!

So anyway, God is (of course) good even when things are going badly, being Sovereign as He is. But today I'm grateful to Him for blessing me with a happy day :-)
I'm glad not every day is this good...I probably wouldn't appreciate them nearly as much if they were.

Merisha's Birthday

Today is the day that my sister turns twenty.
As I try to grasp the fact that she is now two decades old, I think back over our lives together and wonder Where have the years gone? Wasn't it yesterday that we were playing dress up and dreaming of what it would be like to be "big girls"?

I have to say that my sister is one of the most incredible people on the planet, and I'm not just being bias. For one thing, anyone who can put up with me 24/7 for the past almost 19 years deserves to be canonized :)
Though we are very different in many ways, we are completely unified in everything foundational. It's rather uncanny how one of us will go to the other and say "You know, God has really brought this truth or scripture to my mind a lot" and the response is often "Wow, I've been thinking the EXACT same thing."
We finish each other's sentences and when a question is asked, our response is more often than not in unison. I really love my sister :)

But most importantly, Her passion for God and knowing Him to a greater degree is infectious...oh that there were more women like my sister!
Her convictions and beliefs are unshakable, but her humility and kindness balance her out very well. She never ceases to amaze me when she fluently and with confidence defends even the most controversial and attacked parts of our faith with graciousness.

Happy Birthday, Merisha! I am blessed beyond measure in having you for a sister. If I could have asked God for everything I wanted in a sister, I still wouldn't have been capable of thinking up anyone as great as you are. I love you.
"The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." '

You're my sister...and you're the favorite ;)
~Robin <><